When you lose a father you feel
like dying every day. First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning
and the last thing you think of when you try to go to bed and you think of it
all day long. It’s one the most horrible
tragedies one could possibly imagine. But if you can somehow find that inner strength
through a simple sign that it’s okay, one got something to look forward to at
the end of your path.
It’s not often that you could go
behind the scene and recall the moment when you lose someone very close to you,
but it happens every moment.
I remember one time you held me
and said “What I am going to do without you in my life?” I was holding on to
you and at that moment I never realize that what I will do without you? And
those words would MEAN so much to me today.
I was in bed and I got a feeling
that something wasn’t right, I get out of the bed, I got dressed and I stood at
the window looking at the cars coming and passing by, my heart kept raising by every
minute hoping that everything please be okay. I was interrupted by phone
ringing and my Mom saying that “Your Father isn’t well, I need you at the hospital
and please be quick.” And at that moment I knew; I realized that my feeling
being frantic was true.
I rushed to the hospital, nothing
in my head just to be there as soon as I can. And there I was, as if he was waiting for me
for years, his eyes sparkle the moment he saw me. I hold his hand and said “hold
on daddy, I am here, everything will be okay”. It was all the machine sounds
beeping in my head & all that voices annoying me. I placed my hand to his heart,
could hear his heartbeats, but soon I could felt that his heart stopped. He
just closed his eyes, they came and told me that I had to leave. I didn’t want to, I was afraid. Leaving my
hand empty. Have to understand that I won’t be able to see him again. It was
Even after 18 years I try to forget;
just forget about it – I guess I can’t. It’s tough. But I treasure my Father in
my heart, my soul & my entire life.